Job Experience

Why is it that even after over 17 years of experience, I can still feel clueless as a mom?  After several years of doing other jobs, most people atleast feel competent, if not close to comfortable or maybe even expert.  Somehow motherhood does not work the same way.
I love my kids and they are good kids, normal, but good overall.  Every now and again I start feeling like I am doing okay, and then it happens....  Maybe God thinks I am getting prideful and need some humility or maybe my kids want to keep me on my toes, but something new comes up and I am dumbfounded again, feeling like a complete idiot and nominated for the Worst Mom Award.
I want so much to be a great mom and raise confident, independent young adults.  I want to be able to handle situations with such grace and wisdom that my kids and husband will sing my praises.  Then I get out of bed or the kids come home from school and reality strikes.  Interesting thing is, those things I struggle with myself (weakness, issues, flaws...), bug me the most when I see them in my kids.  Logically one would think if I have not "gotten the hang of it" after 29+ years (no I am not sharing the actual years), I would be understanding and patient with my kids.  Oh no, just the opposite.  I want to scream, smack them and shake them and say "Get rid of this NOW!  You don't want to deal with this when you are older!!!"
I still want to be a great mom, but I am getting better at forgiving myself for blowing it.  After all, I have had A LOT of practice blowing it.  Then I remember a phrase I learned early on in my mothering. I will trust God to fill in the gaps where I mess up, because I will mess up.  Someone else said the other day "If Iwere normal, my kids would have no character."
Maybe when I am a grandma I will feel a little more competent as a mom, but until then I will keep doing my best and praying that God will fill in the gaps.

P.S. The book No More Perfect Moms will be great anytime, but you get lots of extra freebies when you order Feb 4-9.

The Knots Prayer

This spoke to me today as I was picking up my messy office and thinking of all the things I "had not gotten to".
May it encourage you.


The Knots Prayer

Dear God.
Please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,
may nots,
might nots that my find
a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,
would nots and
should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all
Dear God
I ask that you remove from my mind
my heart and my life all of the "am nots'
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.
Amen.

-Author Known to God

Happy New Year to Imperfection!

I just finished the book No More Perfect Moms by Jill Savage and look forward to embracing my imperfections this year.  This is not going to be easy, since I am a perfectionist at heart and put way too much pressure on myself.  I do a pretty good job of looking like I have it together in front of most people, but I still struggle with feeling "good enough". 

(The funny/sad thing is, I am already falling short in my "Perfection Infection" because I am trying to write the "perfect" blog about this book, go figure!)

Jill does a beautiful job of sharing her imperfect life and her heart in a way that comforts and inspires you.  We can still be great moms, even when we have huge red zits on our chin (sore, too), Christmas letters that still have not been sent, dirty dishes in the sink, kids with some bad grades and less that stellar choices, holes in our bedroom walls and emotions that make roller coasters look like the Great Plains.  We can embrace the interuptions, the differences and inconveniences in our life and enjoy the moments.  Imperfection does not give us license to be lazy, but we should accept grace.

I'm taking the 31-day No More Perfect Moms e-mail challenge and growing.  Why not jump in?

I know you are itching to get the book yourself, but wait until Feb 4-9.  Lots of extra freebies, if you do.



Last but not least, check out the Hearts at Home website (www.hearts-at-home.org ) for all kinds of resources, information and encouragement or Jill Savage's website (www.jillsavage.com ).

Most of all... have a Happy Imperfect New Year!

Audience of One

I started singing in the church choir this year and we had our Christmas concert on Sunday morning and again on Monday evening.  My family attended on Sunday, but not on Monday.  I told several friends about the concert, but for many reasons, they were also unable to attend the concert on Monday night.  So as I am looking out over the crowd and not seeing faces I had hoped for, the pity party began.  You know the one.  "All those plays, concerts, and games I go to and my kids won't go to 2 concerts for me.  Nobody cares enough to come to MY concert!  blah, blah, blah".  Did I mention my husband asked if Iwanted him to come, but I said, "No. It's fine. You don't have to come, no big deal."?
So then that voice in my heart reminds me I started singing in the choir because I enjoy it and I wanted to participate for years.  Also, the music is beautiful (I could listen to that Irish pipe for hours!) and there was a nice crowd including some other people I knew.  Most importantly, God was there and I needed to sing the best I could if only for an audience of One.
Isn't that a picture of what mothering looks like most of the time?  Picking up crumbs, cleaning toilets, cooking dinner, driving kids to and from activities day after day with little to no recognition, let alone thank you.  After all, that is my job as a mom, right?
No matter how many times we recognize something in our head, sometimes our hearts have to be reminded that whatever we do: singing, writing or mothering, we are to do it for God.  We are to be obedient to what He wants of ut and He sees what we do and loves us.  He is the Ultimate Audience of One.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Welcome to the Third Thursday Blog Hop with Hearts at Home!
Hearts at Home

We are supposed to share our thoughts about Thanksgiving today.  First of all, I love the idea of Thanksgiving, giving thanks to God for all His blessings and being purposeful in our gratitude.  I wish Thanksgiving did not get lost in the commercialism of Halloween and Christmas.  I also feel convicted that I do not always stress the importance of gratitude to my children or set the best example at times.

Growing up, I mostly remember getting together with my grandparents, aunts and uncles on Thanksgiving Day and eating lots of turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie.  My grandmother would also have creamed onions and mincemeat pie, but I never liked them much.  I prefer the broccoli/cheese casserole and sweet potato casserole.  I remember Thanksgiving being a day to hang out with the extended family.  It might be the only time I got to see some of my aunts and uncles and cousins that year.

Even now, it is one of the few times I get to see several members of my extended family.  I love how the only real expectation of the day is to share fellowship with friends and family over a big meal.  We usually have the big meal early in the afternoon and stay together until later in the day, when we can get out some of the leftovers.  My children look forward to the week of turkey leftovers the week after Thanksgiving.  My husband introduced me to turkey sandwiches with cranberry sauce on them.  Yum!

This year, I pray we can all enjoy the time together, since you never know what the next year may hold.  I am so beyond blessed to still have 3 living grandparents, and I cherish the time I have with them.

Blessings to all and give thanks to God for them!

Take as Directed

Ever notice the instructions on a bottle of medicine?  It usually says "Take as directed".  I could not help but think about this as I read my Joyce Meyer devotion this morning about the gift of healing.  She said, "Healing can be a process that works somewhat like medicine.  It is necessary to receive it by faith and believe it is working."

If we do not follow the directions for the medicine, it will not work.  Having Advil in my cabinet does me no good when I have a headache, if I don't get it out and swallow the pill.  If you do not take the full course of antibiotics, you run the risk of the bacteria coming back even stronger.

Jesus did heal instantly in some cases, but sometimes He gave extra instructions or forgave first.  Every case was unique as the person being healed.  I think Jesus said it best when He told the woman with the issue of blood "Go, your faith has made you well."

I believe the same is true for our own healing.  God's Word gives us the instructions we need for all sorts of healing - physical, emotional or spiritual.  We will only get the full benefit though if we "take as directed".  We need to read the Bible's instructions, follow the directions, believe in the power and receive by faith.  And it does not always happen instantly.  Praise God, there are still amazing miracles of healing today, but often it is a process over time and sometimes the healing is not the way we want.

I have been working for years now on losing weight and strengthening my back.  I avoided surgery, am pain free and close to my goal weight.  I believe God is the ultimate healer and He could have healed my back and sucked all the extra fat off overnight, but I would not have the habits of exercise and healthier eating and muscle tone I have now.  I have also learned to seek God for satisfaction, not food (although dark chocolate can work in a pinch!). 

God knows what we need and if we will take His Word as directed, life goes much smoother.

Kids and Money

It is the Third Thursday and time for the Hearts at Home Blog Hop! 
Hearts at Home

I am finally remembering to include that in my post.  And I figured out how to put the little picture in my blog, too!!!  Just a quick side note, this is a big deal, because I am not the most technologically savvy person.  God gifted me in other areas instead.

The topic this month is how we teach our kids about money.  I would love to say that we have an awesome system and our kids are so responsible about tithing, saving and spending, but the Bible says the truth shall set you free.  So for the sake of freedom, this is not reality.

Fortunately, for all our "opportunities for growth" in this area of parenting, I believe we have done some things right.  My husband felt very strongly that our children not get an allowance.  They have to earn their money.  They have many opportunities to earn money around the house and at some of the businesses my husband has.  We also pay them to read (we got the idea from John Maxwell), a penny a page for easy math.  My oldest daughter is a voracious reader and got some pretty good paychecks over the summer with this one.  They do not get credit for required reading at school, though.  We have also let them decide where to invest some money in the stock market.  My husband was given stock as he grew up and always loved getting dividend checks, even if they were for $0.32!  They all have stock in Disney and some other companies that kids would love.

One of the other things we have done is my children are responsible for their own cell phone.  Too many kids get put on mom and dad's plan and run up crazy bills or break their phone so they can get a new one.  My kids saved up to get a Tracfone and then were responsible for buying their minutes.  Keeps the texting and phone calls from being excessive when they get low on minutes.

We have had the charts, clear money jars, goal posters and such over the years.  Mostly we include them in some discussions on money and give them opportunities to choose how they want to spend their money.  We give them a set amount of spending money on vacation and they are responsible for any souveniers, gifts, or treats they want.  One time our son got angry, slammed a door and broke the glass.  He learned how much it cost to replace and took quite awhile to pay it off in installments.

We have tried to teach our kids how much things cost and how much work is involved in earning that money.  The money tree in the backyard still has not sprouted $100 bills.  Drat!

Hope some of these ideas help and check out more resources for even better information.
Have a blessed day!