Saying No

     Saying "no" is not usually easy for me, unless  it is my kids asking for money or a telemarketer, and even then I try to be nice about it.  But I actually said no to a couple of things this week and an amazing thing happened...nothing, really!  The sky didn't fall, no lightning struck me down, my family didn't disown me.  I didn't like it, the other people sounded a little sad or disappointed, and I was uncomfortable, but I was also relieved.  As much as I didn't like it, I know inside it was the right decision for me now.
    
     There is a tremendous freedom and strength in recognizing what is best for you and then standing up for it.  Too many times I have let other people and situations push me into doing what wasn't best for me.  I'm not talking about drugs or even something "bad".  It can be a very good cause, helping this person, giving to this group, but somewhere deep in your gut it doesn't feel quite right, you are doing it for the wrong reasons and you know it.  Even if you won't admit it.

     Now before someone goes way off in one direction, there is a balance to things.  Sometimes we do need to "go with the flow", "deal with it", etc. etc.  We simply cannot control everyone and everything around us.  All we can control is our own attitude and behavior.  We cannot allow our feelings to rule our lives, they are much too fickle little buggers, but we also can't stuff them and pretend they aren't there.  God gave us feelings for a reason and we should listen to what they are saying.  We just don't always have to act on them.  I love my kids.  They really are great kids and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them so they can be happy, healthy adults one day.  On some days that is taking them to the coffee shop for some special one on one time, some days it's snuggling on the couch, I love giving gifts and some days it is resisting the urge to strangle them until their eyes pop eye and grounding them until they're 30!  (You know the days when they are especially independant and vocal, trying to see which combination of last nerve buttons will get the biggest reaction.)

     There is very little danger in my getting too carried away with the "no" thing.  I like being busy, for the most party.  I enjoy helping people, being involved in different activities and getting out of the house.  There is a time to say yes, and I've known there is a time to say no.  I'm just finally putting it into practice.